Get out of your own way
We've all heard the expression: "Get out of your own way" but have you ever stopped to wonder if this expression was applied by each person we know, including ourselves individually... hhmmmmmmm makes ya think right?
Many people have written books, articles, blogs, and journals about this topic. A lot of self help stuff that only a few actually apply (though more than would admit buy the info to "try" and become better)...
Good grief - get out of your own way and stop making it all so complicating. Here is an example.
Recently my oldest son has been pushing his own abilities and boundaries in the great world of sports. He knows the drills, understands how to do them, executes amazing -until it is match time... then it is a coin toss if he or the "in his own way" version will be there. When I sat down to talk to him about everything and determine where he "was at" he gave me some great insight that even we as adults do on a daily (if not for some hourly) basis.
Here is what was said: I know how to do it all, I don't need anyone telling me what to do... follow with I can do this and this and this and then this... then I will get points. (All of the effort and confidence right?) When he is questioned why the outcome is not what he worked for and why he seems so upset it is: They got in my way, when this happened nothing would work, it didn't matter how hard I tried - I wasn't going to win.
He got in his own way.
I was mortified inside and bit my tounge, lip, cheek, anything so that he did not see my reaction as I am learnign that kids talk and confide in you more when they don't feel like they are constantly being judged (which is our way as parents to say - no we aren't judging - we are helping - right.
So back to my response.
I looked at him and said "You need to get out of your own way". Of course as any 91/2 year old would respond - ok mom, that doesn't make any sense.
I am aware it doesn't now - but think of it this way... you have the choice and the power to think and believe what you want right? So when you make the choice in your mind to look at every negative thing instead of every good thing... you are getting in your own way. You have a goal. You get to decide the best way to get there - we are here to guide, support, teach and train - but you have to make the mental choice how to get there. If you focus on all the negatives there is no way for hope and light to get in to your thoughts... hence the outcome you wanted in the begining is no longer attainable...
He still didn't quite grasp it the first day. But we are on day 4 now. Today for the first time since he started school, he turned and waved and smiled and told me to have a great day and remember to stay out of my own way too...
Kids are precious... they are truly smarter than us - no matter how much we fight it. The best parents in the world are still going to learn more from their kids than from anyone else...
Moral of this all:
If you have a goal - strive to attain it. And always remember to get out of your own way.
Have a great day!
DevinAnne (c)
Many people have written books, articles, blogs, and journals about this topic. A lot of self help stuff that only a few actually apply (though more than would admit buy the info to "try" and become better)...
Good grief - get out of your own way and stop making it all so complicating. Here is an example.
Recently my oldest son has been pushing his own abilities and boundaries in the great world of sports. He knows the drills, understands how to do them, executes amazing -until it is match time... then it is a coin toss if he or the "in his own way" version will be there. When I sat down to talk to him about everything and determine where he "was at" he gave me some great insight that even we as adults do on a daily (if not for some hourly) basis.
Here is what was said: I know how to do it all, I don't need anyone telling me what to do... follow with I can do this and this and this and then this... then I will get points. (All of the effort and confidence right?) When he is questioned why the outcome is not what he worked for and why he seems so upset it is: They got in my way, when this happened nothing would work, it didn't matter how hard I tried - I wasn't going to win.
He got in his own way.
I was mortified inside and bit my tounge, lip, cheek, anything so that he did not see my reaction as I am learnign that kids talk and confide in you more when they don't feel like they are constantly being judged (which is our way as parents to say - no we aren't judging - we are helping - right.
So back to my response.
I looked at him and said "You need to get out of your own way". Of course as any 91/2 year old would respond - ok mom, that doesn't make any sense.
I am aware it doesn't now - but think of it this way... you have the choice and the power to think and believe what you want right? So when you make the choice in your mind to look at every negative thing instead of every good thing... you are getting in your own way. You have a goal. You get to decide the best way to get there - we are here to guide, support, teach and train - but you have to make the mental choice how to get there. If you focus on all the negatives there is no way for hope and light to get in to your thoughts... hence the outcome you wanted in the begining is no longer attainable...
He still didn't quite grasp it the first day. But we are on day 4 now. Today for the first time since he started school, he turned and waved and smiled and told me to have a great day and remember to stay out of my own way too...
Kids are precious... they are truly smarter than us - no matter how much we fight it. The best parents in the world are still going to learn more from their kids than from anyone else...
Moral of this all:
If you have a goal - strive to attain it. And always remember to get out of your own way.
Have a great day!
DevinAnne (c)
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