A little something Poppi once said
Life has been sooo busy! I have many new funny, interesting, and real life things to post... here is the first of many!
An interesting thing happened over the past month. I figured something very important out about me. But that is for a later part of the story…
Friendship is a very casual term used today, though I don’t think it was meant to be taken for granted or forgotten, it just sort of happened. What with the technology that has taken over every aspect of life (don’t tell me it hasn’t… go 36 hours without any technology – ergo electronics, cars, motors, batteries, electricity for that matter… I dare you…
My oldest son and I have had many discussions over the past few weeks about friendship and the meaning, responsibilities, how to honor and respect another person without hesitation. His insight is quite simple – honesty, respect, and just plain old “grow up” when it comes to adults.
Every single adult (if you are going to protest that every single adult does not fall into this trap at one time or another – leave and don’t finish reading) again, every single adult reviews a friendship with their mind, heart, or soul. Many times this “review” process is done when there is pressure, anxiety, stress, or outside influences. The adult then without realizing they are making decisions subliminally influenced by those outside distractions, takes and makes choices based on the review – and must live with them. In friendship this is the part of the map, the story, the whatever cliché you want to call it which ends up with a collapse.
Prior to meeting my darling hubby, my Poppi told me I trusted too much. I asked him why he thought that was wrong. He told me in his young 92 years of age “People are human and are by nature carnivorous selfish monsters who take advantage of people like you.” Poppi grew up in the depression and was one of those sadly unrare children given away down the street because his family couldn’t feed him. I told him he was wrong and I would work to show him that there are great people in this world and that I would find them and be friends with them. Poppi wasn’t a bitter person, he just had lived through so many things that the current generations couldn’t even imagine about, he would just go over basic advise whenever he could, he said it was because he knew he wouldn’t live to be 100, he said God wouldn’t do that to the rest of the people on earth. (Poppi had a great sense of humor)
I have met some great people, and over the course of time have created lifelong friendships with some of these great people. These people are awe-inspiring. They have chased their dreams, they have grown families, they have stood for things that many would be frightened to do. These people have been patient and kind, they want to make the world a better place and step by step this small group of people I consider great amazing and close friends don’t judge, don’t assume, they treat all on facts and with respect, and with the utmost of class and character.
I still get pulled to the wayside and distracted by others, I live in a small town far away from many of the great people I referenced prior, I do not know a lot of people in my small town, but there are quite a few that have struck me as kind, driven, and family, with a great sense of humor… and yes there are some who fall to the other side. Don’t get me wrong, I still have the firm belief that there is good in every single person. That at the end of it all I want to know I gave each person I came in contact with the utmost respect.
To the dismay of my own mental and emotional growth – Poppi’s stated words later on that have rung true more than once in my life. He said “Darlin, you want to take care of people, you have since you were little, it is part of who you are, and while that is good and I thank God for that part of you – you will find yourself in a doormat role more times than you will like in life, and you won’t know it until after the fact.”
See, I believe the toughest thing about failed and broken friendships, no matter if your are 10, 20, or 30something years old, neither person wins or feels better or good about anything. Regardless if there was some wrong doing done by one, both, or an outside distraction
Remember when I said that I had learned something about myself? I have wandered and wondered on this for a long time. If you are a regular reader here you know that I believe a few basic things. Life is short, live it full, hug those you love, and say Thank you to the right people (and God). I have a few more to add, thanks to a friend whom I have not seen in a long time, but re-posted an interesting thought online recently.
It goes something like this:
If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "Price Tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's "YOU" who tell people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the "CLEARANCE RACK" and get behind the glass where they keep all the "VALUABLES". Bottom line is VALUE yourself more!
Friendship is wonderful, but it must be based on one’s own confidence, not because one lacks confidence. I lacked confidence and needed these different people because I didn’t think well enough of me…. But the thing to throw in with that is when you don’t put yourself and your own value first, you do not see the type of people, traits, and character clearly that you begin to surround yourself with. My habit of not giving myself value – that has now changed. I will grow stronger in that, and am human to fall down and scrape my knee…
That latter, without regret I will now say, I have finally figured out. I get it. It is so simple. Sad it took me 3 decades and a few “days” to figure it out. Something that must be noted is this. I still am deciding where the direction I am going is for me as a person. Poppi used to tell me that every person keeps on “cooking” all lifelong. Sometimes they get too full of themselves, sometimes they forget to use all their ingredients, but at the end of it all, they are more done than when they started. (He had some other explanations to this, but this was the cleanest one I can post)
I reviewed this with my oldest this afternoon. He said a couple of great things: “I wish I could have spent time with Poppi, he sounded pretty smart, I am glad you are finally growing up mom, and do you think I will go thru tough times with friends?”
I had to respond: I wish you could have too, you’re right – he was pretty smart, well thank you for the compliment, and more than likely yes…just remember to treat everyone with respect and honesty and set standards for yourself and those you choose to surround yourself with.
He ended it with that look that said…okay... you went a little too far with the last line.
Have a good night. Enjoy.
And remember
Life is short, live huge, love forever
DevinAnne ©
An interesting thing happened over the past month. I figured something very important out about me. But that is for a later part of the story…
Friendship is a very casual term used today, though I don’t think it was meant to be taken for granted or forgotten, it just sort of happened. What with the technology that has taken over every aspect of life (don’t tell me it hasn’t… go 36 hours without any technology – ergo electronics, cars, motors, batteries, electricity for that matter… I dare you…
My oldest son and I have had many discussions over the past few weeks about friendship and the meaning, responsibilities, how to honor and respect another person without hesitation. His insight is quite simple – honesty, respect, and just plain old “grow up” when it comes to adults.
Every single adult (if you are going to protest that every single adult does not fall into this trap at one time or another – leave and don’t finish reading) again, every single adult reviews a friendship with their mind, heart, or soul. Many times this “review” process is done when there is pressure, anxiety, stress, or outside influences. The adult then without realizing they are making decisions subliminally influenced by those outside distractions, takes and makes choices based on the review – and must live with them. In friendship this is the part of the map, the story, the whatever cliché you want to call it which ends up with a collapse.
Prior to meeting my darling hubby, my Poppi told me I trusted too much. I asked him why he thought that was wrong. He told me in his young 92 years of age “People are human and are by nature carnivorous selfish monsters who take advantage of people like you.” Poppi grew up in the depression and was one of those sadly unrare children given away down the street because his family couldn’t feed him. I told him he was wrong and I would work to show him that there are great people in this world and that I would find them and be friends with them. Poppi wasn’t a bitter person, he just had lived through so many things that the current generations couldn’t even imagine about, he would just go over basic advise whenever he could, he said it was because he knew he wouldn’t live to be 100, he said God wouldn’t do that to the rest of the people on earth. (Poppi had a great sense of humor)
I have met some great people, and over the course of time have created lifelong friendships with some of these great people. These people are awe-inspiring. They have chased their dreams, they have grown families, they have stood for things that many would be frightened to do. These people have been patient and kind, they want to make the world a better place and step by step this small group of people I consider great amazing and close friends don’t judge, don’t assume, they treat all on facts and with respect, and with the utmost of class and character.
I still get pulled to the wayside and distracted by others, I live in a small town far away from many of the great people I referenced prior, I do not know a lot of people in my small town, but there are quite a few that have struck me as kind, driven, and family, with a great sense of humor… and yes there are some who fall to the other side. Don’t get me wrong, I still have the firm belief that there is good in every single person. That at the end of it all I want to know I gave each person I came in contact with the utmost respect.
To the dismay of my own mental and emotional growth – Poppi’s stated words later on that have rung true more than once in my life. He said “Darlin, you want to take care of people, you have since you were little, it is part of who you are, and while that is good and I thank God for that part of you – you will find yourself in a doormat role more times than you will like in life, and you won’t know it until after the fact.”
See, I believe the toughest thing about failed and broken friendships, no matter if your are 10, 20, or 30something years old, neither person wins or feels better or good about anything. Regardless if there was some wrong doing done by one, both, or an outside distraction
Remember when I said that I had learned something about myself? I have wandered and wondered on this for a long time. If you are a regular reader here you know that I believe a few basic things. Life is short, live it full, hug those you love, and say Thank you to the right people (and God). I have a few more to add, thanks to a friend whom I have not seen in a long time, but re-posted an interesting thought online recently.
It goes something like this:
If you're not being treated with love and respect, check your "Price Tag". Perhaps you have marked yourself down. It's "YOU" who tell people what you're worth by what you accept. Get off the "CLEARANCE RACK" and get behind the glass where they keep all the "VALUABLES". Bottom line is VALUE yourself more!
Friendship is wonderful, but it must be based on one’s own confidence, not because one lacks confidence. I lacked confidence and needed these different people because I didn’t think well enough of me…. But the thing to throw in with that is when you don’t put yourself and your own value first, you do not see the type of people, traits, and character clearly that you begin to surround yourself with. My habit of not giving myself value – that has now changed. I will grow stronger in that, and am human to fall down and scrape my knee…
That latter, without regret I will now say, I have finally figured out. I get it. It is so simple. Sad it took me 3 decades and a few “days” to figure it out. Something that must be noted is this. I still am deciding where the direction I am going is for me as a person. Poppi used to tell me that every person keeps on “cooking” all lifelong. Sometimes they get too full of themselves, sometimes they forget to use all their ingredients, but at the end of it all, they are more done than when they started. (He had some other explanations to this, but this was the cleanest one I can post)
I reviewed this with my oldest this afternoon. He said a couple of great things: “I wish I could have spent time with Poppi, he sounded pretty smart, I am glad you are finally growing up mom, and do you think I will go thru tough times with friends?”
I had to respond: I wish you could have too, you’re right – he was pretty smart, well thank you for the compliment, and more than likely yes…just remember to treat everyone with respect and honesty and set standards for yourself and those you choose to surround yourself with.
He ended it with that look that said…okay... you went a little too far with the last line.
Have a good night. Enjoy.
And remember
Life is short, live huge, love forever
DevinAnne ©
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