Demands
It has been too long since I truly saw the reflection of me. Daily demands have become distorted to a demand to exist, to survive, to try and assimilate that all I do is for a purpose and is necessary to life as I know it and the world that I exist in. Friendship and outings, balance combined with true awareness are no longer a part of my immediate existence. Now is the battle of aging and reality, of no chance will come back to me – and that now I have to seek out as many chances as possible to know that I am equaled within my soul, that I have and will live a life worthy and full of value. It has come to my attention that too many times in the demands of motherhood – a point and time comes that all of a sudden hiding in the bathroom for 5 minutes just to have silence is no longer considered ridiculous and weak.
Funny thing happened over the weekend. Well 24 hours later it is semi-funny. After waiting a week to have quality family time with my husband and children, a little breakfast out at the local truckers joint, then together we watched a less than inspiring football game; I then take on a mental war with myself (one that has been roaring and raging on all weekend) the fact that I am the only one who can do anything within my home. (When really it is just that I am the one who recognizes to take the initiative)… I rushed to get the house picked up, 7 loads of laundry done, the pool taken down for the summer, the boys rooms cleaned up, kitchen shipshape, garage cleaned out (or at least the start of it)… I then realize I still have to paint my nails, clean my office, do some work, and still find time to do grocery shopping (at 4:00 on Sunday afternoon) so much for a weekend of “blissful relaxation with family”… I get to that reflection moment – but the negative-depressing kind. Don’t try and tell me you have no idea what I am talking about… seriously – if one of you wisecracks thinks for one second that you…. Whew… sorry – I was starting to get worked up again!
Anyhow, I somehow pull myself together, without having a meltdown, fold another load of laundry as my hubby prepares the grocery list. I kept thinking to myself – no one understands, no one gets it, I keep trying to give and do and do and do more, but it never matters – no matter how many loads of laundry, dishes, bathroom scrub downs – there is always going to be more and not one of these people who live in my house understand it! (See the whole highly attractive and sexy pity thing going on? I was sure I was the only person on the planet who would and could feel this way… wow… self deprecating and pathetic is more like it…)
Back to the drama…
I leave and go to the next town over for groceries (cheaper – or so I have convinced myself) and as I go thru the McD’s drive thru to bribe my children with unhealthy snacks so they will at least be some type of version of human for the next hour in the grocery store, I call my sister. My sister, of whom I forgot in all the things that needed done, had a small family gathering set up for today. My sister, whom I personally think is one of the greatest mom’s ever, My sister… oh – again my apologies… on with what happened.
My sis gets on the phone – “Hi, how are you” …”Fine – How are you?” … “Fine”… actually she says “I am really crabby right now… she then proceeds to verbalize everything that I had been feeling the 2 hours prior… Ha-ha! And I thought I was the only one! I ask her why, what, when, etc… when we finally realize that we are talking to the same version of our own selves, we both calm down… yeah! Some type of smart comments and sarcastic analysis of how women really do rule the world, and that we are the only ones who “get it” Again Yeah for Tomorrow – it will be another great day! It’s called sarcasm folks… pick up on it quicker…
Yes tomorrow (today) is another/I mean “new” day… I know what I am blessed with, I know what others would say I am blessed with, and I think I know what God foresees as entertaining moments of His day today… for there is always something, someone, a story, a picture, a broken dish-fridge-stove-door…oops sorry did it again… I guess my thought is this:
Either accept the daily grind as is and shut up OR… do something about it. And don’t for a second (even a millisecond) fall into the trap that because of this life situation you are unable to do whatever it is you THINK you should or want to be doing. Admit it is okay to say “This is what I want” and find a way to do it. Even it means adding more to your balancing act – because let’s face it – the dishes, laundry, house work, children demands, well as my sister says – they will just get more and bigger as the kids get older.
Great. Excited for that one. Thanks sis… love ya’.
Have a great day!
Sorry it has been so long… as you can see in my reflections above… time, space, and life tried to interrupt me.
Yeah – like anyone could interrupt me …
Funny thing happened over the weekend. Well 24 hours later it is semi-funny. After waiting a week to have quality family time with my husband and children, a little breakfast out at the local truckers joint, then together we watched a less than inspiring football game; I then take on a mental war with myself (one that has been roaring and raging on all weekend) the fact that I am the only one who can do anything within my home. (When really it is just that I am the one who recognizes to take the initiative)… I rushed to get the house picked up, 7 loads of laundry done, the pool taken down for the summer, the boys rooms cleaned up, kitchen shipshape, garage cleaned out (or at least the start of it)… I then realize I still have to paint my nails, clean my office, do some work, and still find time to do grocery shopping (at 4:00 on Sunday afternoon) so much for a weekend of “blissful relaxation with family”… I get to that reflection moment – but the negative-depressing kind. Don’t try and tell me you have no idea what I am talking about… seriously – if one of you wisecracks thinks for one second that you…. Whew… sorry – I was starting to get worked up again!
Anyhow, I somehow pull myself together, without having a meltdown, fold another load of laundry as my hubby prepares the grocery list. I kept thinking to myself – no one understands, no one gets it, I keep trying to give and do and do and do more, but it never matters – no matter how many loads of laundry, dishes, bathroom scrub downs – there is always going to be more and not one of these people who live in my house understand it! (See the whole highly attractive and sexy pity thing going on? I was sure I was the only person on the planet who would and could feel this way… wow… self deprecating and pathetic is more like it…)
Back to the drama…
I leave and go to the next town over for groceries (cheaper – or so I have convinced myself) and as I go thru the McD’s drive thru to bribe my children with unhealthy snacks so they will at least be some type of version of human for the next hour in the grocery store, I call my sister. My sister, of whom I forgot in all the things that needed done, had a small family gathering set up for today. My sister, whom I personally think is one of the greatest mom’s ever, My sister… oh – again my apologies… on with what happened.
My sis gets on the phone – “Hi, how are you” …”Fine – How are you?” … “Fine”… actually she says “I am really crabby right now… she then proceeds to verbalize everything that I had been feeling the 2 hours prior… Ha-ha! And I thought I was the only one! I ask her why, what, when, etc… when we finally realize that we are talking to the same version of our own selves, we both calm down… yeah! Some type of smart comments and sarcastic analysis of how women really do rule the world, and that we are the only ones who “get it” Again Yeah for Tomorrow – it will be another great day! It’s called sarcasm folks… pick up on it quicker…
Yes tomorrow (today) is another/I mean “new” day… I know what I am blessed with, I know what others would say I am blessed with, and I think I know what God foresees as entertaining moments of His day today… for there is always something, someone, a story, a picture, a broken dish-fridge-stove-door…oops sorry did it again… I guess my thought is this:
Either accept the daily grind as is and shut up OR… do something about it. And don’t for a second (even a millisecond) fall into the trap that because of this life situation you are unable to do whatever it is you THINK you should or want to be doing. Admit it is okay to say “This is what I want” and find a way to do it. Even it means adding more to your balancing act – because let’s face it – the dishes, laundry, house work, children demands, well as my sister says – they will just get more and bigger as the kids get older.
Great. Excited for that one. Thanks sis… love ya’.
Have a great day!
Sorry it has been so long… as you can see in my reflections above… time, space, and life tried to interrupt me.
Yeah – like anyone could interrupt me …
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