In the Blink of an Eye... a story for the decade...
In the Blink of any Eye what do you think can transpire from nothing to something or everything. I have a great story to tell. One that could consume pages and ages and books upon books. Repetitive, I know I know. I got it. Literally.
One way that Fairytales are described on Wikipedia to describe something blessed with unusual happiness, as in "fairy tale ending" (a happy ending)[2] or "fairy tale romance" (though not all fairy tales end happily). Colloquially, a "fairy tale" or "fairy story" can also mean any far-fetched story or tall tale.
Yep – my story is the latter one. I think anyone looking in to this story from the outside would see it as a fairytale romance, maybe. I will say loudly and proudly that with all of the avenues, experiences, shortcomings that, were by far, out shown by the brilliance of the characters that it is more far-fetched than any other description. But I will let you be the judge. For yourself. I know what I get. I know what I got. I know that I have a lot left to learn, but in a blink of an eye – everything can change. Be ready.
In July 1999, I saw someone for the first time. I remember the time of day, what he was wearing, what I was wearing, where we were, and the first time we met officially. The surroundings cannot be described in a short term definitive manner. For the sake of the “better than nothing” argument I will try to do a ghost writer version…
It was an environment that thrived on people. Yes, it was a job – a place of work – but it was more than that… with 400+ employees on the roster 2 restaurants, a comedy club, live music and sports bar and dance clubs – all under one roof… this was the job for any single person on the market. The energy within the “environment” took over and in a blink of eye, when I look back… that place was its’ own character, knowing what I know now, in a blink of eye… the environment was the main character and all the people and characters there (and there were thousands of “characters”) well, we were window dressing, we were the vessel to the stories that no one but everyone remember. No place else was there an adrenaline, a rush, and a force that people from all walks of life landed into this vortex if you will. Any situation that you can imagine and all those you wouldn’t want to existed. The morality of any soul was questioned and challenged, tempted and nearly tainted on a daily basis… but there was something else to describe it…something that was the glue.
The people.
The people, it is a challenge to now knowing what I do about life, find the words to honor and show respect to the souls that have gone on in a life that brought “the real world” to its’ knees to its’ own growth and development. Souls then were all a combination of desperate, lonely, friendless, beautiful, loving, caring, generous, heartfelt, strong, dedicated, loyal to all faults, intelligent, common sense, military, ged’s, bachelors and associates, mothers, fathers, singles, motherless, fatherless, childless, angry, sad, stable and the not so stable, from all walks of life… the people were the individually molecules that became adhesive to make a moment in time… theirs. The glue.
It was in this time, in this place that I saw him for the first time. I was one of the molecules, the one with something to prove to myself and anyone that took air in around me. I was like the one who never knew what a best friend was because I had been at most “second choice” to everyone in nearly all situations in life, or so I thought when I look back. The one who couldn’t relate to my own family because of the un-asked demons that had rooted and stolen my inner life in my past. I was the one who was hell bent on being strong but was more insecure and weak - yet in a blink of an eye I learned how to stand for myself and in the moment I believed in what might be the saying one door closes another opens isn’t the exact way I would describe the time in my overall life in ’99, being in one zone with points of disaster spoken daily turning physical and dangerous was the final straw, the icing on the cake, and whatever cliché matches the sentiment. Little did I know that in a blink of an eye Spending so many years of running, of building a wall that army’s could not scale, little did I know.
In that moment, in a blink of an eye…
I revisit that picture in mind, the people around me, and the outlook I had in my life, the dreams and let downs that I held so tightly. Now, I am grown-up and old and much wiser than then, because it is now I realize that I know and have known nothing, save but one.
I have known love.
I have known the love that Nicholas Sparks and Shakespeare, Jane Eyre and more, the kind that tragedy and trials bounce off the force field that surround it. I must learn everything in life, over and over, but love… love was taught to me, it came to me, it designed the garden in the universe that said be you. He said “Be yourself, find yourself, you matter, your heart is more special than anyone else’s, no one will hurt you, no one will abandon you….because I am here and I will love you forever. I will love you, I will believe in you, I do.”
This Tuesday marks 10 years. Ten years of the not so normal wedded bliss. I think the common day media outlet carries the term wedding and marriage without actual fun. Like somehow being married means long drawn out misery. That the concept of being single is the most appealing “let’s get it on”. Well, to put it all in perspective… my writings The Holiday Necklace and To You show the kind of love I know. The kind, that if I had a genie in a bottle, a magic wand, all the super-powers in the land, that every soul would know, would hold, would grow in, and at the end of their life – they have loved as though… well…
Now, let’s clarify. We said for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I type those words and chuckle at the irony. So, as is custom for me, I make a list. Slightly on the controlling and anal retentive side of things… I make lists. I started to make a list, a small sampling of the experiences of for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health… that in ten years I have become smarter in knowing I know nothing, nothing but love. However when I re-read the list I changed my mind to include the specifics. You see in all the messes, the mountains, the job losses, the financial disparities, the loved ones that have passed on, the loved ones that have been close to the edge, the premature births, the passing of friends, in a blink of an eye while reading it – all those specifics, and there were hundreds, they all became individual molecules morphing and they created in front of me the primary character in this existence… this love that I know.
This love that I know… it is the primary character. It is what every wedding dedication, every heartfelt cheesy second of tear wrenching “The Notebook” moments that I am no longer the smart ass but am a mush. A mush who is not afraid to say that in a blink of an eye I now see that ten years has been filled with firsts. Firsts and seconds, thirds and fourths… and as each year, each experience, each journey down what at many times has seemed broken paths, I have had this love.
Humbled without the proper words and without a physical mountain to show my vulnerability, my heart, my outlook - I take this latest form of technology… to lay this out to any and all that might listen and read. Weddings and marriage and love are three different things. They each exist on their own until the love blends them, builds them.
So, I stand on the top of my mountain now overlooking the many mountain tops, valleys, fields, forests, and rivers, all of it. I stand here now to tell the world, to all that will hear me… I know I have much to learn in life, but love, love has me covered as do I it.
To my best friend, my confidant, my conscience, my lover, my children’s father - I toast to you.
I toast to you in all that you are and somehow make me believe I can be better. I will love you more each moment, I promise you this, knowing what I know in this blink of an eye – my words will reflect our hope, that my voice will match my heart, and my future will always be in the right place because you are the one who stands by me. No matter where we land. You carefully stored in your care for the past ten years in this marriage my heart. It has grown, it has become patient and loving, it has become wiser. You did that. You never second guess me or doubt me. You think the absolute best of me even when I don’t think that of myself or feel that I deserve it. You are my air and our brilliant children are my world. You are strong and beautiful. Your smile and absolute never wavering character to do what is right are things that no other man I have ever known is made of. In a blink of an eye you stole my heart. You kept it safe. You have held my heart in all the pieces it was in and have been so patient while I have put them back together over time. You… us. In a blink of an eye… thank you forever.
In ten years we have been blessed with the amazing sons, they are brilliant in every single way imaginable. We have had the joy of having three of the greatest 4 legged best friends, one who left us to soon who started this family of ours… we have lived in three dwellings, owned and sold and traded a few cars… and fought off the economic war that rages on still with determination and grit… true grit.
I have many times in ten years questioned how to do better, how to be better, how to make right decisions for my family. In life there are two characters… those who get it done and those who just wait for it to get done.
Knowing what I know now, in a blink of an eye… in this week, on this day, at this very moment ten years ago… is when I realized that the small intimate wedding that was planned lacked the simple “program” for the small ceremony. My mother asked what should we do and I, in that moment, said “Give me five minutes, I can do this.”
I wrote this in that five minutes and we were able to get the printer to finish simple programs that were absolutely perfect. For us.
To the one...
When I was small I wondered what you would be like
Would you make my heart smile?
Would I do the same for you?
Wondering took a lot of time & time is what I had
I wondered what your dreams would be…
I wondered what you would think of me…
I wondered how your eyes would look…
I wondered all the things people read in books.
I thought if I ever found you
How would I know you were the one?
And then I met you.
I dreamed a thousand dreams of who you would be.
My dreams came true
The day that I met you.
Devin-Anne ©
To you my darling, my best friend, my soul mate in as many lifetimes as the powers that control the universe determine we have… I say it all again from my self proclaimed mountain top. The character in our lives… to the one that in a blink of an eye… in that moment… everything changed.
One way that Fairytales are described on Wikipedia to describe something blessed with unusual happiness, as in "fairy tale ending" (a happy ending)[2] or "fairy tale romance" (though not all fairy tales end happily). Colloquially, a "fairy tale" or "fairy story" can also mean any far-fetched story or tall tale.
Yep – my story is the latter one. I think anyone looking in to this story from the outside would see it as a fairytale romance, maybe. I will say loudly and proudly that with all of the avenues, experiences, shortcomings that, were by far, out shown by the brilliance of the characters that it is more far-fetched than any other description. But I will let you be the judge. For yourself. I know what I get. I know what I got. I know that I have a lot left to learn, but in a blink of an eye – everything can change. Be ready.
In July 1999, I saw someone for the first time. I remember the time of day, what he was wearing, what I was wearing, where we were, and the first time we met officially. The surroundings cannot be described in a short term definitive manner. For the sake of the “better than nothing” argument I will try to do a ghost writer version…
It was an environment that thrived on people. Yes, it was a job – a place of work – but it was more than that… with 400+ employees on the roster 2 restaurants, a comedy club, live music and sports bar and dance clubs – all under one roof… this was the job for any single person on the market. The energy within the “environment” took over and in a blink of eye, when I look back… that place was its’ own character, knowing what I know now, in a blink of eye… the environment was the main character and all the people and characters there (and there were thousands of “characters”) well, we were window dressing, we were the vessel to the stories that no one but everyone remember. No place else was there an adrenaline, a rush, and a force that people from all walks of life landed into this vortex if you will. Any situation that you can imagine and all those you wouldn’t want to existed. The morality of any soul was questioned and challenged, tempted and nearly tainted on a daily basis… but there was something else to describe it…something that was the glue.
The people.
The people, it is a challenge to now knowing what I do about life, find the words to honor and show respect to the souls that have gone on in a life that brought “the real world” to its’ knees to its’ own growth and development. Souls then were all a combination of desperate, lonely, friendless, beautiful, loving, caring, generous, heartfelt, strong, dedicated, loyal to all faults, intelligent, common sense, military, ged’s, bachelors and associates, mothers, fathers, singles, motherless, fatherless, childless, angry, sad, stable and the not so stable, from all walks of life… the people were the individually molecules that became adhesive to make a moment in time… theirs. The glue.
It was in this time, in this place that I saw him for the first time. I was one of the molecules, the one with something to prove to myself and anyone that took air in around me. I was like the one who never knew what a best friend was because I had been at most “second choice” to everyone in nearly all situations in life, or so I thought when I look back. The one who couldn’t relate to my own family because of the un-asked demons that had rooted and stolen my inner life in my past. I was the one who was hell bent on being strong but was more insecure and weak - yet in a blink of an eye I learned how to stand for myself and in the moment I believed in what might be the saying one door closes another opens isn’t the exact way I would describe the time in my overall life in ’99, being in one zone with points of disaster spoken daily turning physical and dangerous was the final straw, the icing on the cake, and whatever cliché matches the sentiment. Little did I know that in a blink of an eye Spending so many years of running, of building a wall that army’s could not scale, little did I know.
In that moment, in a blink of an eye…
I revisit that picture in mind, the people around me, and the outlook I had in my life, the dreams and let downs that I held so tightly. Now, I am grown-up and old and much wiser than then, because it is now I realize that I know and have known nothing, save but one.
I have known love.
I have known the love that Nicholas Sparks and Shakespeare, Jane Eyre and more, the kind that tragedy and trials bounce off the force field that surround it. I must learn everything in life, over and over, but love… love was taught to me, it came to me, it designed the garden in the universe that said be you. He said “Be yourself, find yourself, you matter, your heart is more special than anyone else’s, no one will hurt you, no one will abandon you….because I am here and I will love you forever. I will love you, I will believe in you, I do.”
This Tuesday marks 10 years. Ten years of the not so normal wedded bliss. I think the common day media outlet carries the term wedding and marriage without actual fun. Like somehow being married means long drawn out misery. That the concept of being single is the most appealing “let’s get it on”. Well, to put it all in perspective… my writings The Holiday Necklace and To You show the kind of love I know. The kind, that if I had a genie in a bottle, a magic wand, all the super-powers in the land, that every soul would know, would hold, would grow in, and at the end of their life – they have loved as though… well…
Now, let’s clarify. We said for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. I type those words and chuckle at the irony. So, as is custom for me, I make a list. Slightly on the controlling and anal retentive side of things… I make lists. I started to make a list, a small sampling of the experiences of for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health… that in ten years I have become smarter in knowing I know nothing, nothing but love. However when I re-read the list I changed my mind to include the specifics. You see in all the messes, the mountains, the job losses, the financial disparities, the loved ones that have passed on, the loved ones that have been close to the edge, the premature births, the passing of friends, in a blink of an eye while reading it – all those specifics, and there were hundreds, they all became individual molecules morphing and they created in front of me the primary character in this existence… this love that I know.
This love that I know… it is the primary character. It is what every wedding dedication, every heartfelt cheesy second of tear wrenching “The Notebook” moments that I am no longer the smart ass but am a mush. A mush who is not afraid to say that in a blink of an eye I now see that ten years has been filled with firsts. Firsts and seconds, thirds and fourths… and as each year, each experience, each journey down what at many times has seemed broken paths, I have had this love.
Humbled without the proper words and without a physical mountain to show my vulnerability, my heart, my outlook - I take this latest form of technology… to lay this out to any and all that might listen and read. Weddings and marriage and love are three different things. They each exist on their own until the love blends them, builds them.
So, I stand on the top of my mountain now overlooking the many mountain tops, valleys, fields, forests, and rivers, all of it. I stand here now to tell the world, to all that will hear me… I know I have much to learn in life, but love, love has me covered as do I it.
To my best friend, my confidant, my conscience, my lover, my children’s father - I toast to you.
I toast to you in all that you are and somehow make me believe I can be better. I will love you more each moment, I promise you this, knowing what I know in this blink of an eye – my words will reflect our hope, that my voice will match my heart, and my future will always be in the right place because you are the one who stands by me. No matter where we land. You carefully stored in your care for the past ten years in this marriage my heart. It has grown, it has become patient and loving, it has become wiser. You did that. You never second guess me or doubt me. You think the absolute best of me even when I don’t think that of myself or feel that I deserve it. You are my air and our brilliant children are my world. You are strong and beautiful. Your smile and absolute never wavering character to do what is right are things that no other man I have ever known is made of. In a blink of an eye you stole my heart. You kept it safe. You have held my heart in all the pieces it was in and have been so patient while I have put them back together over time. You… us. In a blink of an eye… thank you forever.
In ten years we have been blessed with the amazing sons, they are brilliant in every single way imaginable. We have had the joy of having three of the greatest 4 legged best friends, one who left us to soon who started this family of ours… we have lived in three dwellings, owned and sold and traded a few cars… and fought off the economic war that rages on still with determination and grit… true grit.
I have many times in ten years questioned how to do better, how to be better, how to make right decisions for my family. In life there are two characters… those who get it done and those who just wait for it to get done.
Knowing what I know now, in a blink of an eye… in this week, on this day, at this very moment ten years ago… is when I realized that the small intimate wedding that was planned lacked the simple “program” for the small ceremony. My mother asked what should we do and I, in that moment, said “Give me five minutes, I can do this.”
I wrote this in that five minutes and we were able to get the printer to finish simple programs that were absolutely perfect. For us.
To the one...
When I was small I wondered what you would be like
Would you make my heart smile?
Would I do the same for you?
Wondering took a lot of time & time is what I had
I wondered what your dreams would be…
I wondered what you would think of me…
I wondered how your eyes would look…
I wondered all the things people read in books.
I thought if I ever found you
How would I know you were the one?
And then I met you.
I dreamed a thousand dreams of who you would be.
My dreams came true
The day that I met you.
Devin-Anne ©
To you my darling, my best friend, my soul mate in as many lifetimes as the powers that control the universe determine we have… I say it all again from my self proclaimed mountain top. The character in our lives… to the one that in a blink of an eye… in that moment… everything changed.
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