It is that time again for children's lists:
Here are the few questions and statements my 10 and 8 year old sons came up to me with over the past couple of months and some responses we as parents so wisely replied with. (I think you will once again see, I live with boys)
Why do dogs sniff each others butt's?
Because they are gross.
Mom, that's not the real reason, can I Google it?
No (who knows what it would say!)
Mom, seriously, why don't you want to know the answer?
Really??!! Go clean your room, now! Gross!
If cars had brains would they be smarter than people? I think they would be smarter than parents for sure.
So, you are admitting that parents are smarter than kids?
Oh No, not at all, I think kids and cars are the same kind of smart.
I am confused, so cars are smarter than parents or not?
For sure they are smarter than parents. Why? Mom, really?! If you don't know the answer then I don't think you would understand it.
(This is a 10 year old telling me about cars.... really!!!!????)
What if the rain fell so much that the house floated away?
Well, I guess we should all have life jackets stored in the house somewhere, right?
Mom, be serious! Maybe we should get insurance for when the house turns into a boat.
You realize the house is not going to turn into a boat, right?
Mom, did you not see that the company selling insurance and is number one and offers all types of insurance had a house boat on display in their commercial and that is what happened to it! The house turned into a boat and the family was saved because of the insurance!!
Yes, that is exactly what happened, and will happen in real life. (Clearly far too much television!)
What does rated R really mean?
Really not for kids under 17
Don't they know that we already know everything they are talking about and doing?
What do you mean?
Come on mom, be cool, the commercials, the previews for TV shows, they even talk about stuff on late night cartoons
First of all young man, those are not approved for you to watch - by me or the FCC, second why are you watching commercials and previews for those TV shows?
Mom, it was when we were getting ready to watch America's Got Talent, Dancing with the Stars, and Biggest Loser with you.
(mom now has a minor breakdown because I have become "that" irresponsible" reality TV stereotypical parent, dammit!)
If it says free, why isn't it free?
Because they will give you that, but you have to buy something else first.
Well, then it is not really free, right?
Correct.
So they are lying?
Yes.
Well there moms did a bad job and need to put them in time out and take away their dessert and Wii.
I will let them know right away. Thank you.
How come there is green stuff in the plastic container?
Because it has been sitting in the fridge too long
Well, why did it sit in the fridge too long?
Because I forgot it was in there.
For how long?
What do you mean?
Well, mom, there are two containers in here, one has a lot of green and the other has a little. Can I still eat whats inside?
(mom gagging) No. You can't.
Why?
Because that would be gross.
That can't be your answer for everything.
Yes it can, I am mom.
(very angry) I can't wait to be a mom and be as bossy as you.
Good luck with that son.
Does milk always turn lumpy?
Yes when it is old
So, just like people
How do you mean?
Well, you are getting old and little lumpy.
I love you son.
I know.
I will update the responses to the ones below later today... unless you have thoughts and can guess how they turn out!
Why can't I keep the frog in the house?
Girls have what and boys have what?! That is crazy.
I think God is shaking his finger at you.
My mom said so, she maybe didn't bring you in, but she can take you out.
I am pretty sure that there are angels because I sure didn't eat all the cake
What is wrong with wanting 3 dirt bikes
Why do vegetables have to sound healthy, like their names, why can't it be cotton candy instead of carrots.
No, I am serious mom, I looked everywhere and can't find my shoes
I don't know why the TV won't work
No, I didn't try to flush the battery down the toilet
I didn't mean to lock the dog in the bathroom, with the toilet seat up, un-flushed
Why do girls get so loud? Even their laugh is loud!
If I had been a girl, would I still get to burp and talk about farts?
How come I need to read books during the summer?
Why can't I have ice cream twice today?
Why can't I go play in the street?
What do you mean I have chores to do?
Will I always have you and dad as my parents?
DevinAnne (c)
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