The stalker called "to-do"

Early in the morning VP pen and CEO paper meet by the fridge and conduct a meeting of their puny little pathetic minds. Other departments present at the meeting are kitchen, laundry room, living room, dining room, garage, bedroom, bathroom, dog kennel, cat box, car 1 and car 2, along with a couple of anonymous names that were not noted on the meeting minutes.

They discussed the last meeting, the items that were to be looked into after it, who was in charge of things, and the conclusion noted in the minutes was that kitchen was doing a great job by continuing to pile up items by the sink, special recognition kitchen took back to its' "people" was "Best Smell Creator" went to the disposal this week (all were estactic as garbage can normally got the stupid award) Best Obstacle Course went to the Living Room department - notably the recliner and children game holder for going above and beyond the expectation of clutter and chaos.

The minutes noted many more awards and then the stalker "to-do" meeting came up with this next weeks' agenda. God Bless them. (not)

Here are the Departments and their action plans for the week. Sure.

Kitchen:
Daily pile up of dishes, disposal is to get a "cold" mid-week and remain conjested until Saturday. Cupboards are to hide the soup and mixes until Thursday so that owners must go to store and buy more items. Counter is to stay cluttered - ensuring that each item left on top of it is glued down and "lost" in plain view.

Dining Room:
Table is to stay sticky along with wobbly from the little 2 legged people running and then hidind underneath it. Chairs are reminded that on Tuesday 2 of them have doctors appt's and must be un-sittable to the humans in the house due to legs being broken. Chandelier please remember to drop dust onto food that is placed on table, you have forgotten this over the past 2 weeks...you only have 2 jobs and this is one of them.

Living Room:
Great job this past week meeting all the action plan goals from last meeting. You were the only department that on the nose hit your clutter mark, your human injury mark, and was still able to sit back and relax. Same objectives this next week.

Laundry room-DogKennels-and Cat box:
You are the blue collar department in the "company" you deal with dirt and grime and well... all the gross stuff on a daily basis... you are the work horse that makes the humans need all of us and are able to make them jump if one thing breaks or is messy in your departments... you contribute to much of the humor for the humans and for the "company" you are appreciated.

Bathroom:
You are the central nervous system for the company and humans. You need to focus on staying as dirty as possible. Leave gentle reminders to the young two legged creatures to leave their clothes, empty toilet paper rolls, toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, washrags, and kleenex on the floor, on the counter mushed in paste and dried soap. Gain confidence in how much power you truly hold over the humans and you will go far.

To all other Departments... continue on with the same goals and to-do's from last week... it is our job and our role to ensure the existance of humans is not easy, fun, or clean. We are the stalker to-do's and must maintain a persistant front of fight and valor and filth.

UPDATE::::::: I, DevinAnne, have filed for a restraining order against the stalker to-do company, though I am still waiting on mailbox to do its' job and deliver the outcome.

Comments

Popular Posts