The Brick Series: The naming of our minions sort of.

What’s in a name – remember the book? Any expectant parent has searched through hundreds of books both physical books and paper books... It is the one that has the definition of every name that we can think of… and more. These definitions were basic and fun. It helped parents determine what and who their child will become… all the fuzzy happy puppy love dreams of what your child will become… and then it hits you – 10 years later. You can dream and dream and dream. You will, as an adult, muck this along because you feel it is the best way to do things now. Inevitably you will be harder on the first born, more so than all the others. But… right now… to you parents of young children. Wait and see. Don’t get all “she is crazy and doesn't know what she is talking about”… hahaha is all I have for you saying that. Funny story…..

Back in my infinite wisdom days of amazing shoes and boots, purses that cost $200+ and eating out meant sitting at a restaurant that had real glassware and metal utensils, where someone came to the table – a total stranger nonetheless – and asked how I was doing, can they get me anything… and they did! Well, back then when high heels were only 3” and they were pretty stilettos
– not platform shoes from hell… back then when short shorts indicated that a girl was a bit of a “loose”, you know… (family channel here folks) … back then when appetizers included dipping sauces – but not in plastic peel away containers (which always spit their contents all over you)… yes then, back then is when my darling sister had a son. He was the first of “that generation” into our family. He was spoiled rotten Totally. On an average kind of day I took a date with me to visit my sister and her son at their apartment in the suburbs. Everything was cute and fun. There were these colorful things all over her apartment. She looked like she was the perfect mother. Then I entered the living room. Here in this room were so many items that were foreign to me – the then single non-mother person. My date (now my husband) came to calling these items neglectomatics. From the little plastic thing that the kid sucked on to the countless items he was placed in, laid in, sat in, bounced in… it seemed whenever he was about to not “smile” or “wake up” he was moved from one to the other. Of course, me in all of my wisdom with my amazing shoes and skinny jeans (when I was actually skinny) my latte and cool shades… yes then – back then in all my wisdom of 20something – mucked up the room by thinking that maybe she should spend some time with her son, instead of “using” all these gadgets….yet… now… in my old age with wrinkles and hair dye, with flab in places on my arm that should not be, with the clean clothes on the couch – still unfolded…with mail that still needs to be opened from last week, messages not returned… now with me happy I simply had a decent shower today and have made the great official decision that tomorrow is when I will shave my legs…  now I know. I get it… sort of.

Fast forwarding to now with two children of my own. Little dirty minions of 9 and almost 12. Boys. Boys… do you have any idea how messy and dirty they are? Gross. There are days I dream of my stilettos and a splash of pink. Those neglectomatics that my date and I had made fun of and oh so judged quickly… yep we had twice as many after our family started…. Hey – we spend lots of quality time, we are uber protective of our children, minions, I mean boys. Grrr. Mama Bear right here.

So you ask what does this have to do what’s in a name? Who knows… I had a point when I started this post… hang on, let me think… oh yes… just like all the time you spend reviewing all the names you can think of – that one choice is pretty much the only one that you will ever stick to when it comes to your kids. It is the one thing that will define your parenting skills and your child’s ability to stand strong or try to have legal separation when they are 8 years old.

See, ya think you have it all figured out, all planned out, all pre-determined… and lets face it – you felt pretty darn good about yourself for being responsibility… but now – look back… did ya actually know any of it? Nope. That’s the whole thing about being a parent, about picking a name, about determining who and what you think about… just by living life. Brick by brick. One step at a time. One gorgeous stiletto at a time (nowadays I am lucky to have a decent pair of shoes one of our large dogs haven’t chewed on or boys have spilled something in or on)… but these little messy smelly boys… they are the only ones I have, they are what God has said “I trust you to raise them, to love them, to set the example for them”… that is pretty heavy when ya think about all the superficial stuff that stands in our way on an average day in our lives. You get to a parent. No matter what friendships, relationships, work partnerships, none of it – absolutely none of it pales in comparison to the joy of a child hugging you, arguing with you, convincing you they are so much smarter and cooler than you… nope – no other relationship in life compares. So, choose the name wisely, and when they ask you if they can come up with their own nickname… tell them yes – but it has to be one you come up with together. I call my younger son “bug”… when he sleeps at night he curls in a ball like a little bug. He is also known as sweet pea and my oldest as punkin pie… but neither will admit any of these in public. Ever. What are your nicknames for them? The nice ones! The fun ones, the ones that will normally result in a hug or a kind look, not the constant arguing or questioning…

For those who think that we have lost our marbles and that no child ever argues or questions. You must have the smaller ones still. Fifth grade and on… good luck people.

Hugs from my bugs to your bugs.

CassieAnneClaire©

Go Ride.